… Because let’s face it, we’re all human, we all have relationship woes – be it love life, family or friends, and we can all benefit from speaking out more, sharing a problem and taking heed of advice from others…
This blogger world can be a fragmented one. What should you share, as an ‘influencer’ and what should you keep close to your heart and away from followers? Personally, there’s a lot you don’t see of my real life on social media and what you do see, is more often than not through rose tinted glasses/filters.
You generally don’t see the down days, the makeup-free admin days, the endless days chained to either a camera or laptop, shooting beauty products or seeking out more paid collaborations, because it’s boring. You don’t see the personal relationships that may come and go and the heartbreak that inevitably follows suit. In fact, on many an occasion, after yet another break-up or family domestic, I’ll stick on some bronzer and a false grin, wipe away the mascara streaks and chat away on video to you all as if nothing had happened. And what category does this forced behaviour fall under? Misleading or professional? Brave or fraudulent?
I shy away from overtly personal posts for largely the wrong reasons. Whether it be the fear of an eye roll at being emotional, people falsely judging me or the worry that people simply wouldn’t read it. Whilst my content will always be dictated by what YOU all want and read, I should also be true to myself and create content that is honest, relatable and above all, knowledgeable and insightful.
Further to that, our lives as bloggers are not all sugar-coated and flowery. Whilst I very much enjoy writing about the latest lipstick to plant on your pouts, or a fancy hotel opening that you need to know about, I also want to offer an (online) shoulder to cry on too. I want you to read my posts and relate girl to girl on all sorts of issues – from skin concerns to health problems and namely, relationship troubles too.
So let’s start off with my current marital status. SINGLE. Or ‘Single Susan’ as I often refer to myself as…
I’ve had relationships over the last few years – some brief and unimportant, others short but meaningful and a couple longer and life-changing. However, from every relationship fail or fall I’ve had, I’ve learnt more about myself than before. I’ve learnt how to self-improve and to understand my self-worth more, I’m learning more about self-love and that no relationship is functional if you don’t value yourself (still grafting on this one). I’ve lost people important to me through distance, personality clashes or cheating, and every time is as emotional, heart-wrenching and sometimes as life-altering as the last.
So where from here? What advice can I offer from my vast and varied experiences? And why am I writing this?
My friends frequently request I write a book after my many colourful acquaintances and writing this post has been strangely cathartic – it’s safe to say I’ve often been there, done that and got the t-shirt when it comes to relationship woes. From a guy who lived a double life and had a long term, live-in girlfriend to another living on the other side of the world or the one who couldn’t get past a girlfriend sadly passing away, I’ve had some serious trials, tribulations and tough tests handed to me the past couple of years. Might I also add, it’s the last year of my twenties and I’m now guilty of feeling the pressure to ‘settle down’. Yep, eye roll allowed here.
Most recently I’ve also been struggling with feeling lost. Lost with where my life is going, with work being intermittent and intense all at once, with where I want to live and with my love life being in a constant state of solitude (world’s smallest violin is currently playing yes…)
Counteracting this feeling of unknown however, there has also been some invaluable insights into my life of late. One being, a month ago, I went to a work event and had the opportunity to chat with a clairvoyant/psychic. She immediately told me, amongst a great many other things, that I had already met my soulmate but I didn’t realise it yet. That he was in fact, someone known to me presently, who had taught me a lot about myself in a relatively short period of time, made me question everything I want from a relationship (and don’t) but wasn’t necessarily put there to stay in my life forever or at least not for the time being. You can’t force someone to stay, she told me and you take from every torment, a stronger sense of self-sufficiency.
A relationship should compliment you as a person, and your life as a whole, not be your entire existence. Learning to love yourself, being independent and content with your own company and valuing those close to you, is a good place to start after any relationship ending or another starting.
And remember this: you’ll have good days and bad days, you’ll cry and you’ll laugh, you’ll lament and you’ll love and most importantly you’ll live to tell another tale. Some with more tales to tell than others… ;)